radioactive
Member
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her ass and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.
Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the internet, because she's already world wide.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, "IT'S CHEWBACCA!"
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her ass and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.
Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the internet, because she's already world wide.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, "IT'S CHEWBACCA!"
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.